Lightsaber duel

Let’s Talk about the Bind

Two fighters size each other up. They strike and parry, back and forth, then their swords lock together dramatically as they hurl snappy one-liners at each other. They shove and circle around, and split apart again, and the fight continues!

Except… nah. This is the Hollywood parry, something you’ll see in all the Star Wars movies at least. Like many things in Hollywood, it’s not a bad thing because it’s unrealistic (though it is that) but because it’s boring and stupidly overused.

Star-Wars-Attack-of-the-Clones

Lightsaber Ballet

Yes, lightsaber ballet, people. I have a particular dislike for the Star Wars prequels. Honestly, I remember sitting in the cinema, my head full of stories that my dad had told me of what it was like to see the original Star Wars – how much he had loved it, how it had completely blown him away because it was so incredible and new and just… revolutionary. And then I remember being so horribly disappointed that I wanted to find George Lucas and slap him with a copy of Screenwriting for Dummies.

Watch this video first.

Lightsaber duel

The Problem With Lightsabers

So… I’d like to talk about lightsabers.

First of all – look, they’re basically magical sword-like objects wielded by space-mages. They have only one real purpose in the Star Wars canon, and that’s to be a marker of otherworld-ness associated with Force-users. They look cool. If you’re happy to accept them as just being this cool Star Wars thing, then more power to you. Enjoy them! But don’t read the rest of this post because it will probably make you sad or angry at me.